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September 2003 (Alex writes from Brazil part3)
The venue that night was a smaller size club with a really high stage. It was
sold out, so the show kicked ass once again. It was cool to have big screens on
either side of the stage at each one of these shows like a proper rock concert.
I kept looking over at them to see what Justin and Kaveh looked like playing since
I really never saw them too much behind me. I tried to sign for everybody that
night over this high wall between the club and the dressing rooms. It was total
chaos and we had to stop cause people were getting squashed under each other.
For the first time on this trip Aaron and I had personalized picks with our signature
on them that we could give out to the fans, which was pretty cool. I would have
stayed there all-night and signed for every single one of them, but it was just
too crazy. Our flight the next day to Sao Paulo wasn't until 3 PM, so we
decided to go out for the first time to a club or something that night after the
show. The drivers said that there was a club 5 minutes away that was great and
had a VIP section we could sit in that would be safe. So after driving for an
hour in the middle of nowhere and starting to wonder if we were just getting driven
in circles on the Brazilian "ring"... we decided to turn back.
Most people got out once we were back at the hotel since we had just sat in a
car for like two hours. But me and some of the other guys continued on to some
other club that was truly 5 minutes away. I'm glad we went, cause it was
so fun. We "gotsted our drank on" in this roped off VIP section while
all the people at the club were coming up to security trying to get in and take
pictures. There were randomly places girls dancing on tables and on the bar like
Coyote Ugly and I started feeling like Hugh Hefner, minus the 6 playboy playmates...and
the robe... .and the pipe... but anyways, there was this cover band there
that was really good, playing all these songs we knew. The owner of the club asked
me if I wanted to go up there and sing with them. I'm usually way to shy
to do that sort of thing, but I was feeling a little "funny", so I
went for it. All the security guys took me to the stage while people were trying
to grab at me and stuff. What's up with that huh? Why don't I just
send you all a piece of my Clash shirt? Just kidding;) The band played the crap
out of Wherever You Will Go, even though it was about 5 clicks too fast, and I
sang while Kaveh played the bass. It was good fun.
We left the next morning to Sao Paulo and flew most of the day, arriving at around
8PM. There weren't any fans at the airport that late, so we got out of there
quickly and made our way to the hotel. The hotel in Sao Paulo was great and the
staff there was super cool. We spent the rest of the trip, about 7 days there,
and had a lot of fun. We went to dinner the night we arrived at this Italian place
called Ecco. We hadn't eaten all day so that dinner was one of the best
of the whole trip. They had Louie Vuttont place mats and some of the best pizza
I've had since we were in Italy doing Music In High Places. We spent most
of the afternoon of the next day doing press in the hotel and phoners to places
like Mexico and Argentina. Somehow a bread roll throwing fight broke out in the
press room and I got slammed with a few rolls pretty hard in the you know what... but
I guess that's better than having fans grab you there. We had that night
off and I was in a random bowling mood, so we went bowling.
The bowling alley was pretty nice, but I just couldn't get use to people
drinking and smoking while they bowled. It's just not something you see
in California. A little kid was having his birthday there and he had like 50 friends,
so I spent most of the time signing for them in between bowling. They were really
cute. I got whooped by everybody, but whatever, it was fun. I kind of threw my
wrist out doing some over hand style throws... I guess that's why people
don't bowl that way. When we got back to the hotel, I had the idea of playing
poker, but we didn't have any chips or cards. So Sacha had one of the fans
hanging outside our hotel, a really sweet girl named Renata, go get us cards at
1 in the morning. We ended up using guitar picks as chips and you guessed it,
I lost a sh*t load of money due to some stupid bluffing hands. But it was fun.
By the next morning I was dieing to play a show again since we hadn't played
in like two days. So I was looking forward to that night. I killed a little time
in the morning with Sacha by playing tennis at the hotel. We had no clue how to
keep score and I pretty much suck, so instead we just played pingy pongy on the
tennis court and dubbed it "Biggy Pingy Pongy". Man is that game tiring.
It was so funny cause our body guards in Brazil were always in black suits, even
when we were on the beach that one day, and they would go wherever I would go... uh,
no pun intended... anyway, so they all stood guard on the sidelines while we
were playing our intense game of "Biggy Pingy Pongy" and they were
running to get the stray balls for us every other second! I mean it's hard
enough to get use to having a big group of giant guys in suits follow you around
all the time... but standing watch at your "Biggy Pingy Pongy"
match while being ball boys too? That was just too funny. Oh yah, and I got whooped,
but what else is new?
The next three night were all at the same venue in Sao Paulo, which was really
weird cause we've never headlined multiple nights like that at such a big
place. The first night was mostly VIPs and press and there were chairs laid out
and stuff, so the show didn't have the same kind of energy as the rest of
them... but there were still screaming fans out there and they made the show
more fun for us. Man, the fans in Brazil are awesome. They sing every word to
every song (which helps when I forget the words cause I just look at anyone one
of them for the answer:), they throw the best gifts on stage (even though I was
hit hard by a few of them, but I'll get to that later), and most of all,
they're all feeling the same energy we are on stage and that just makes
us play even better and have even more fun. Thanks guys. I went out after that
show and signed since I didn't have to be up the next day too early. It
took like an hour and a half to sign for everyone. There were these few girls
that kept begging me to give them the gum out of my own mouth! I was like, "You
don't want my stinky already been chewed gum!", "Yes we do!
Give! Give!" Silliness. Justin was telling me that when he and the other
guys went back to the hotel that night, while I was signing at the venue, there
were a whole bunch of fans in front of the hotel waiting. He told me that when
they saw the van they started screaming, "HALEX! HALEX! HALEX!" and
then Justin opened the door and got out and this one fan took one look at him
and screamed at the top of her lungs right in his face, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
I felt bad, but come on, that's pretty funny.
We went shopping during the afternoon of the next day, on one of the main clothing
store streets in Sao Paulo... hey, I can't just leave without buying
some clothes... maybe even a new red jacket;) They had a Diesel store there,
but the stuff was SO expensive. They wanted 800 Reals for a pair of jeans, which
is almost 300 American dollars! I don't think so fool. We went into this
one store that had some decent clothes, but the cool thing was that it had this
glass stairway down to a second level with water running underneath it and mirrors
under the water... as I made my way down the stairs, entranced by the stuff
beneath me, I ate sh*t and landed on my shins against the stairs. That sucked
and it was quite embarrassing... "Bad Stairs!" I said, "Bad
Stairs! Have these removed immediately!" I did find some other cool stuff
after that and so did the other guys. Kaveh bought a bowl. I was like, "A
bowl huh?" He said, "Yah, it's a really nice bowl". OK
dude.
The gig that night was frikkin kick ass and there were a lot more people and no
more stupid chairs. It reminded me of that gig we played in London at Shepherds
Bush... similar venue, girls passing out left and right, and great energy.
We just hung after the gig and signed for people and did our thang. The promoter
told me that the next night would be the best and sold out... Over 6,000 people,
so I was super excited. But I was also beginning to feel pretty run down by this
point. Even though I've been working out a lot at home for the last few
months and running and stuff, nothing can prepare you for the amount of energy
you put out each night on stage. My body was beginning to ache and my stupid shins
were all swollen from my "shopping accident". And jumping off the
drum riser David Lee Roth style ten times a night wasn't helping. I needed
to rest. So the next day, I got sick.
All I know is I ate some sushi and was in pain for the next 24 hours. F*cking
dirty fish, tainted fish, screwed me up. We had to do some press at the hotel,
like meet some winners from MTV that were really sweet girls and then we had to
do some interview with the Making The Band MTV Brazil winners. Now that was funny
stuff. There were five guys all sitting cross-legged looking all GQ boy band style
in this room. We sat there next to them on little pillows. I guess they were fans
of the band and wanted to meet us and get our advice on important issues like:
Vat do ve do ven all the fans chase us? How do jo keep jor hair looking soo gooot?
A few of them where holding instruments, like a guitar and bongo drums, which
I was assuming was for show. But then in the midst of the interview and the cameras
and the lights, these guys played Wherever You Will Go right there and then and
they were good. The one guy sitting next me had a deeper voice than I do and was
just as skinny, so it totally caught me off guard. They were all really nice guys
and I wish them the best.
By the time the show rolled around that night I was totally destroyed. My stomach
hurt so bad I could barely stand up and I felt like I was going to yak rancid
fish all over the place any second... but there were 6,000 fans out there waiting
for us to go on and for the first time in a long time I felt nervous. The crowd
was so amazing that they really got me through the show, but I kept getting cold
flashes and shivers and I was dizzy and stuff... I almost just gave up at one
point when I got smacked in between the eyes by a metal bracelet thrown from the
audience and then a few seconds later got hit in the lip by a f*cking bear's
plastic nose. It's not there fault I got whacked, but man, I now have a
black eye and a cut lip... war wounds;) So, I made it through that show, barely,
and just dropped dead back stage afterwards for a while. I was really not feeling
up to signing or anything that night. I just wanted to curl up and die... but
during our exit out of there, shortly after the show, all hell broke lose. Our
dodgy ass security guys led us past all the people back stage that I didn't
sign for, down four flights of stairs from the dressing room, and into the underground
parking lot to the car...Well, one problem, or actually more like three... The
underground parking lot was full of fans somehow and the security let all the
fans from upstairs follow us down into this little hallway somehow. So there I
am, stuck between all these fans, ready to blow chunks, everyone screaming and
yelling and I'm just like... get me to the fucking car please. But that's
when the head security guy in broken English tells me that there are thousands
of fans in the street outside blocking our exit and we can't leave for at
least an hour... we have to go back up to the dressing rooms now. At this point
the fans behind us are starting to say, "Why you just walk right past us!
That's not nice! Sign my poster! For my daughter!" And this older
lady starts trying to pull this giant life size cardboard cut-out of me from this
plastic wrap in this tiny hallway with a thousand f*cking people in it... Our
security wasn't doing anything, so we had to yell at everyone to move to
let us back up stairs. I hated doing that, but I felt like complete sh*t. So,
sorry whoever was down there. I'll make it up to you next time. So, we hung
out in the dressing room for a lot longer and then Aaron and I made our secret
escape out of a side garage in this little car. By that point it was almost 2
in the morning and I just wanted to go to sleep and the last thing I needed was
for this guy to get us lost going to our hotel while I'm crammed in the
back of this little car with all my stuff piled on top of me... But alas, he
did. This was the third night in a row that we were returning from the same gig,
back to the same hotel, and some how we ended up leaving the city. Once we started
going through these series of long tunnels and got to a toll road I was like... .
"Look, I don't know where we are, but I just have this strange feeling
we aren't where we should be." We got home an hour later and I crashed.
The next day was our final show in Sorocaba, which was an hour's drive away.
We all pilled into the rollercoaster vans and set out early afternoon. We had
some fans chasing us all the way who almost got hit by one of our cars on the
highway... BE CAREFUL! We arrived at a hotel there, which we were only going
to use as day room and there were a lot of fans outside of the hotel and inside
the lobby as well. We made a dash for the elevators and went up to the rooms.
This hotel was probably the creepiest of them all this trip, but whatever, we
were only there for like 30 minutes. I opened the bars on the window and then
the window itself to see the view of the pool below. There were some kids in the
pool and a table of about 10 big guys in little Speedos playing cards. When they
saw me the window they started screaming some sh*t to me in Portuguese that I
couldn't understand. So I asked our promoter lady who was traveling with
us to translate. She said, "They say you is a gay boy, a city fag, worthless,
etc." Hmmmm, that's nice... Just when I was about to throw something
large at them, they pulled out a video camera and started filming... .It was
time to leave.
We made our way to the gig, which was in a considerably bad neighborhood. It looked
like a giant mess hall. This was to be the final and biggest night of the tour,
almost 10,000 people. But I couldn't understand how they were going to fit
that many people in this place, it just didn't look possible. I guess they
don't have the same fire codes in Brazil as we do in America. So they cram
a lot of people in smaller places than we're use to. The dressing rooms
so far this trip have been pretty cool; Most with Jacuzzi tubs, TV, good food,
clean towels... but this one... oh man...like a truck stop in Middle America.
After going down into the dungeons and entering what looked like a jail cell,
I just had to go use the bathroom and...OH GOD NO!!! What is floating in the toilet!?!?
And all over the floor! SWEET LORD! PLEASE! BLIND MINE EYES SO THAT I CANNOT SEE
ANYMORE!! And the shower... oooh! Black corroded tiles, ceiling falling down,
weeds growing through the floor (free fertilizer)... And what's this?
The wiring from the lighting on the ceiling is dangling down in front of the showerhead... Anyone
in the mood to get electrocuted? "Hey Aaron! Feel like taking a shower?"
mmmmm... brown water... .AAAAH the smell!! The eternal bog of stench! Get
me out of here! Needless to say, no one went in there after that.
Putting the dressing rooms aside, the show that night was the most fun of the
whole trip and the crowd was beyond words. I didn't want it to end, but
after an hour and 15 minutes it did and we got out of there fast this time. It
was either hang out after the show for two hours trapped in the bog of eternal
stench until the crowd dispersed enough to drive away, or make a running leap
into the cars the second we walked off stage... and that's what we did.
We were all amped up the first ten minutes of the drive back, talking about our
favorite moments of the show and who got hit by what fan gift and who played which
part really well... and then it just hit us all at the same time there in the
car as it went silent. We were each totally destroyed after 8 shows, 10 plane
flight, and well, all the sh*t I've been talking about for the last 9,168
words. This has got to be the longest tour diary ever. Anyway, we all were in
the zone for the rest of the drive until Aaron had to take a pee. So we pulled
over on the side of the highway. The fans that were following us on the way to
the gig earlier had just stopped behind us and were wondering what Aaron was doing.
NO! Stand back! Don't look! I wonder if they did? So, we continued on and
I went to sleep right when I laid down in my bed.
Our flight home the next day wasn't until 9PM, so I had the whole day to
finish up some work and pack all my stuff up which by that point was all over
my room. I told Sacha to buy a suitcase, so I could bring back all of the fan
gifts that were piling up like presents under a Christmas tree. I spent the rest
of the day reading some of the letters I got and partially unrolling some of those
scrolls too... wow, there was this one scroll that was 800 feet long! It took
these fans 1 year to make! It's that kind of stuff that makes me love my
job even more and really realize how blessed we are. I will never stop loving
and appreciating every moment of this as long as you guys are here. And I will
never get use to those damn bodyguards following me in the bathroom when I pee!
Anyway, it was time to go to the airport and as I was walking out of my room with
all my luggage, I heard Stigmatized being sung really loudly by a large group
of fans 15 stories below. I had to go out there and say goodbye to them all, so
I did. The rest of the band and crew were waiting in the car for me, poised for
a getaway, as I signed and said my goodbyes. Some of those girls slept out there
for days! I couldn't believe it. I hoped in the bump mobile and we were
off. As we pulled away, I watched fans jump into their cars to follow us and one
of the cars crashed into another and then another, but they just kept on following
us anyway... Crazy stuff to see.
We arrived at the airport and it was madness trying to check in with all the fans.
So the American Airlines peeps took us back into some special private room. As
we were heading over there, with all our security and the chaos we were causing,
I saw another mob of security and someone else moving towards the inner airport.
I asked the American Airlines guy who it was and he said it's the most important
person in the world... .uh, Michael Jackson? No silly, Kofi Anon, the vice
president of the UN! Wow! It turned out he was getting on Kaveh's flight
over to New York... I couldn't believe he traveled on commercial airliners... I
guess it's pretty safe then. So, long story long, we said goodbye to the
airport fans, got on our plane, and flew 14 hours back home... .Through 6 hours
of lightening storms... but whatever, we're alive and it was fun and
I'd do it all over again... and I probably will... sooner than later.
So, I'm sure there's things I'm forgetting, but that's
the, uh, "quick" sum up of the tour in Brazil. Now it's right
back into the studio for us, to finish the record fast, design the album artwork,
do photo shoots, film a video, and get this frikkin music in your CD player by
the end of the year. We shall see. All is good though otherwise and we're
looking forward to getting on the ride again... .or did we even get off? I
don't know... All I do know is, well, that I don't know. You guys
rock! Thanks to all the Brazilian fans that came to our shows and showered us
with love! I'm very tired now and am losing my mind after writing this novel.
Just remember... Don't do school! Stay in milk! Drink your drugs! We'll
see you all soon!
Too tired to come up with anything witty as a signature,
Alex Band
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